Non-Descriminatory Bitch Session

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

lemonade...

So. Here we are again. i've been gone so long (cyndi... ) because aperintly blogger was bought out by google, and i had to jump through some hoops to get my acount re-activated. But its all good, for the longest time i said to myself 'i got nothing to say, my life isnt really that interesting right now.', and that was that, no going into it, no making that extra effort. i was just lazy.

I was in WW for UT and i saw cyndi, the one who keeps complaining about how i never blog. she seemed interested in my nothingness of an existance. well, i figured what happened to me? i used to indulge the masses with my drivle, make up words (see; drivle), and be all out there and not care or give a fuck what people say or think. well, that person isnt really who i am anymore.

i really does suck writing that. but over the last months, i've become more of a sponge for beaurocracy than ever. i mean, in the past i only used my powers for evil (getting into school over and over again, getting out of trouble in the dorms, getting my grades changed, or influincing the smart girl in class that i was worth giving the answers too). but now, its all changed. and it makes me ashamed.

I put my work before almost everything i do, never my girl, cause that just cant happen, i cant ruin what some stroke of luck/benevolent being/fate brought me. but sadly, i've recently realised it has come before family. both families, mom and pop, and the fraternity.

there are things in my life that i cant understand, and lately its been why i want to thrive in chaos. for instance, today i SHOULD have gotten up and got some money donating plasma. I SHOULD have went to the gym. I SHOULD have gotten some of my bills figured out. I SHOULD have folded the clean laundry i've been spooning with on my bed the last week. I SHOULD have ... oh man, i didnt shower today.... but you see what i mean, i CHOOSE not to do those things, sub-conciously i think i can survive without them. and i think its because of what i was. The guy who was invincible, the guy who could do anything, the on-call guy, the planner, the plotter, damnit

i was awesome.

lately i feel like the bathroom atendant from boondock saints. that guy must have been a bad ass in his day, he knows everyone, and he still knows whats going on in his circle. but hes moved on (him: blindness, me:work) and thats what i feel like. I dont really know how elce to explain it.

its not a depressing thing... hell, let me rant about money... now thats depressing to me. but damnit, i just wish i had at least one more of me (no, not so i could have a threesome without there being too many gay jokes) so i could still be a good person for all the people who have been good to me and have gotten me to this point. they deserve better than a corporate whore like me that cant keep his finaces strait.

damn, maybe i should blog more... that felt good...

thanks cyndi.

btw, i own a subaru legasy now. yes, a grocery getter... but i bet i can haul more dead bodies than you can.

Family: they bailed me out again. but i cant really help it. mom threw away all of my old Maxims, wich ment i got an IMIDEATE call from my little brother asking me to buy more... hes just got to learn to hide them better...

Hobby: all i really have is this, myspace, facebook, and the hopes of getting a hobby... and i kick ass at call of duty online.. BOYAH!!

Social: I really dont want to hang out with people at work, its not a spite thing, its just that if i do, all i have is work. so i think i'm going to be branching out soon, when i get a set scedual and stop going in on my days off and such...

Money: so on monday tenitivly, i'm going to be sitting down with an acountant to figure my shit out... i hope

Work: so, i'm really coming into my own here, we got through a WHOLE mess of drama, got a good amount of employees and i think the fact that we didnt fail completly gives me a good amount of credibility. i cant wait to have my own store, but i have allot to learn still.

Females: god shes great. if i lose her, either by doing somthing stupid on my end, or not trying hard enough to keep her... you all get free reign to yell at me ass long as possible.

Drama: Erin is moving in, and i'm SURE theres a good possiblity i'll piss her off at least 4 times a day.

School: I havent paid a CENT on my student loans yes.... is that a bad thing?

Friends: hanging out with Tyler Lane and some of Tommys friends from work... but there kinda crazy and all they talk about is relay drama.

Health: so now i have a pretty severe case of Acid Reflux, or an ulcer... who knows... but i'm taking meds. its kinda depressing because i always prided myself in not having to take anything, having 20/20 vision, or no alergies...

Song: Tally Hall - Bannanna man.... thanks u-boat

Last Laugh: Probably Erin not knowing what, or how a garbage disposal is/works

Written at 10:48 PM by Peanuts.

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