Ok, so this week, as to start my new trend of self improvement i'll be giving up some things that will greatly help me in this process.

I talked to Cerqua and he nailed it down to 'Idle, one sided, or non-personal conversations'.

The first thing is Checking away messages, Its VERY one sided. If i want to know whats going on with you, I'll ask you or visit you. Inversly, if you want me to know somthing you should talk to me and seek me out about it. I'll still respond if you want to talk, but i'll be to the point.

Also, i wont be calling people from work. One, becasue i have allot of shit to finish up before i leave. Second, I'll be at a store where i can't get away with the shinanigans that i get away with at my ...MY... store and i'll be the new guy .....again... so i can't really go in the back and take calls or just do nothing, cause theres gonna be no more flying solo. Also, I'm gonna be shooting for an assistant manager position in that time, so i have to be the best i can be.

And as for idle chatter, i talk to people for no reason alot. i love talking, thats why the Fraternity called me mouth. But i'm gonna try and be susinct and strait to the point. in any conversation.


To sum it up, i'm going to have the same away message up all week, telling you how to get a hold of me and such, but i'm not going to contact anyone unless i need to.

I think this will help with all of my logistic, work, and self-esteem problems...



and cause i'll be leaving this blog and my MySpace too...

Family: Barrowed money after i got them out of a 20$ deficit, so i'm a good son, then a bad son, so i guess things are ok.
Fraternity: Lyrecrest, and 12ish chapters allong the way
Social: I NEED A LIFE
Money: same shit different day, i'm poor, good thing Sara backed out, cause that would have fucked me over
Work: New store May 3rd.
Females: why don't we get drunk, and screw?
Drama: weird... all i got is the standard 'i'm a single guy and i need to get some'
School: sending off my application and transript when i have money
Friends: i'm gonna miss you all
Health: i need to up my motabolism, so therefore i need to eat less more frequently
Song: Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo - Bloodhound Gang
Last Laugh: Talking with kari / Thinking about pranks involving long hair and contact adhesive

so its been a bit. I'm happy in general, but disgusted in sections in life. I'm not happy with myself. I sit here on my days off and really do nothing. I could be out doing all the little things that are built up on my to do list, but no, i just chill.

i keep saying Madison will be better for me. It will, but why start in Madison? I was up early today because i was up late last night aimlessly flipping through channels and not paying atention to anything but wanting to get rid of my second and more evil personality.

the one that hits the snooze FOREVER. the one that could get me up and have me be productive but chooses to have me be late to work or wake up JUST in time to do my lacidazical morning ritual. I Like to have time to myself, but lately i've been becoming restless...

a part of me wants to spend it with that special someone, but thats like wanting to drive when your 14, i think i can do it, but theres no way its gonna happen {depressing i know, but true... i'll stop}. I put my neck out there for a girl i thought things could work and got shot down, now i'm just reaching, not to downplay anyone, but i've pretty much given up on having anytihng meaningfull come out of whitewater as of now. therefore i look to madison...

BUT I"M STILL HERE!!... its flustrating. I try and get closer to people but the more i think about it the more i'm becoming the one thing i hated about people that were moving on. I'm gone. I still want to do all i can for my fraternity, my store, my friends. but when it comes down too it i know i'm going too be leaving a good portion of you all behind. i hate that.

But i'll be arround, i know everyone says it, but for a good summer i'll have nothing to do but work part time. Full time i hope for a bit, and maybe longer depending on if i have to take another year off because of the waiting list to MATC.

I'm in another one of my wierd moods. One where i dont know whats going to satisfy me, or what will bring me back. But i dont like what i am right now. I'm boaring, lazy, out of shape.



What happened to me? I used to be cool...