so i didn't say it in here, but i just got back from seeing Kari. I know, I know, thats why i didn't say it, most of you level headed individuals who have been with me through this all would have advised me against it. and Anonymus probably would have had somthing to say aswel. but it was good. i got to get allot of things off my chest that i could only say in person. the standoff is over, and i hope she understands how i felt, and how i feel. as far as i could tell we left as friends, even though my intention was to go and drop her out of my life, but after seeing her again, i couldn't rightfully do that. i even said it to her 'i don't know if i want to be friends anymore' it hurt. it really did, but feelings hurt sometimes, i know this QUITE well. it was depressing having to lay out the timeframe of how everthing went down, i figured the few times we did talk in the last month or so would have ment somthing, but she could see where i was coming from. all in all i got to meet her co-pilot and listen to some good music while looking over what had stressed her out for weeks.

I got what i wanted.

Closure,
a friend,
...and a Hug.



Family: mom did my laundry again, i have to get he somthing now... but what?
Fraternity: done for the semester, but theres no rest for the weary, thinking about next semester already
Social: need more boobies... that is all...
Money: sooo poor.... i owe bill 10$ or i was gonna be stuck in Milwaukee
Work: i'm gonna hate this next week, 11-7 all week, but i get a good holiday scedual
Females: UNATAINABLE, thats right.... i said it
Drama: mostly Fraternal, but like this post says, closure is a grand thing
School: Killed the PR exam, now i'm in for a weekend of studying
Friends: i have to get away from the brothers every once and a while, i love'm but i need a life
Health: Done with being sick, its all mental
Song: got the diddy bops stuck in my head
Last Laugh: a question on my PR final

"A call at 3am like nothing happend, like it hasn't been a two week stand-off. All the feelings she could upend, trying not to be pissed off."

i wrote that sorry, sad peice of what i think is poetry... yea, i'm un-published.

i just wanted to save it somwhere, cause it pretty much exzemplifies the way i feel right now, allot is kind of in the balance, school, work, social life. the onlythings i have to rely on are my freinds, family and my own feelings.

I have to do this today, i just do. more people than most are telling me not to, but for my own sake, i have to go.

well, its exam time, wich means i need to find more things to do that'll waste my time. so here goes, my itinerary for the next ....let say week...

Wednesday night: retreat with the boys, yea some are sick, but you should still come. bonfire and bro's gotta love it

Thursday: call UWW's risk manager so we can have the snowball fight, work 12-7 drive back and start preparing for said snowball fight.

Friday: 745 exam in speech, should be cake. 9-2 SNOWBALL FIGHT! if i have the ok or not, so sue me for having fun, 3 exam in PR, then off to paint and help some bro's move.

Saturday: 8-5 work, then freezing my ass off in front of best buy waiting for new x-box 360's

Sunday: still freezing my ass off, but having fun doing it.

Monday: ass load of exams from 10 - 3 then work. then off to madison to see Dennis and Erin

Tuesday: still in madison, probably calling people to hang out with because i never get to go out there.

Wednesday: ..... what am i doing wednesday? i think all i have is one exam at 10 am (raquetball....ooooohhhhhhh.....) then work...

Thusday: all i think i have is work... so that means drinking wednesday night!


well, for all you care, thats what i'll be doing.

thanks to L.Eckert for all the improvements on the site. i'll put a post up about how much i love what youve done with the place later.


Family: great, i love those guys
Fraternity: lots of stuff hapening, and with time over break i can get some things taken care of
Social: wow... i really don't have one. but COD will begin again.
Money: POOR, but i charged bev for her paint job, so a $141 check coming soon
Work: so much time on my hands now, all i do is talk on the phone.
Females: ...
Drama: i need to take care of some things, but yea,... i need time off
School: wow, exams, and allot of it depends on how well i do this week
Friends: still missing all my groups of friends
Health: kinda sick, but its a mental thing.
Song: dane cook, he's a funny bitch
Last Laugh: the idea of the snowball fight actually being sanctioned

... that being said, i have an anouncement.

LIFE IS GOOD!

it took me a while, but i'm listening to christmas music and getting in the christmas mood, i don't know how long it'll last... probably till i hear another horrible cover by a no talent hack pop star of we three kings. we all know what the best and truest versions of any of our favorite christmas songs are, and i have re-kindled my love for, and found on limewire the versions that are BAR NONE the best christmas songs ever!!!

if you were born before 1987 (...well, lets say 1984, give you some time) you will remember the three TRUE conveyers of th4e christmas song... they are as follows...

• Alvin and the Chipmunks
• John Denver featuring The Muppets

... and last but not least

• CLAYMATION CHRISTMAS featuring 'THE CALIFORNIA RASINS'!!!!

Now, in reverse order of my respect i pay homage to the chipmunks.

Their spunk and weird voices wich everyone can sing allong to (not unlike Biz Marke.....YOUUUUUU ...GOT WAHT I NEEEEEEDDD.......yeah, that guy), but can also bring a smile to your face whenever alvin gets yelled at. it brings out the joy of the 'good ol' days' when cartoons were simple and mind numbing becausethey were pointless fun entertainment, not brainwashing people into buying shit.


John Denver featuring The Muppets

i respect this album because this was one of the first CD's that my family owned. therefore we listened to these versions of christmas carols almpost exclusivly for years. these versions of any song can bring a tear to your eye (especially 'the christmas wish'... man, it gets me every time), and a laugh when you do the "bah-dum-bum-bum" after 5 golden rings, even if no one is singing that version. i know i did it in church, and i wasn't the only one.

My beloved Clamation Christmas

i can't tell you in any words, or in any action how happy it's going to make me when i see this again. theres no way to recreate a childhood, but one thing i have yearned for almost every year at this time, is to be taken back to the late 80's. When we didn't have to worry where the rent was coming from, or how to get a passing grade in statistics, or who's fucking who. you could just sit arround with your family, without your cell phone, without the worry of anything but when bedtime was...wait.... it was christmas break! you didn't have a bed time! these werethe times i would play with the dog all day, i would build cushin forts and wrastle with my brother. when you would shake your present and not worry if you broke it or not. when you went to church just so you could pick a carol to sing.

when life was simple. when we cared for eachother.

I know its the 13th, but merry christmas everyone.