people must, because my counter keeps going up, but alas, no one seems to update as much as i do. somthing is wrong with that. W R O N G wrong... vauge Dane Cook reference, but apropriate.

so yea, this is getting lame people, i cant be the only source of entertainment you have? sheesh. entertain me every once and a while, i care what your up to. Tyler hasnt done shit on his in forever, and most of you UWW groupies that got me doing this have all but stoped. fine if you think these are drama enduced journals, but hell, its fun knowing whats up.

or am i going to be forced to show up at your house.

i'll do it, you know i will.

thats all i got.

talk to you later

so i spent some time at work today thinking about how to use my 56... yes i said 56 hours of PAID vacation time this year. my first thought was another weeks worth od debouchary like my 21st... but its my 23rd, so its not as big of a deal. so for that i'll just take a few days and have somthing like an 'invite only' party... but everyone i know is invited. just keeps down on the randoms...

but i digress... i started thinking about a vacation, so i thought of New York. why not, spend some time out east again. for a weekend or somthing. but then i got to thinkin... why not spend another summer in new york? what aswell idea-r.

then i got to thinking, that actually makes sence! no metter what i'm done with UWW after this semester, and i'm going to MATC over fall for interior design but the summer was up in the air, i had no lease signed and not sure if i would work at madison or whitewater over the summer. so why not? get out of here for a while.

but it fell through, Noah cant have me for more than a few weeks, so that was out. so i thought he might have a freind take me in... this is where i realised i was getting a little grandios so i called the one person that would naysay any idea i had if it had any flaw. the one man that would shoot me down if any part of my idea was flawed. the best devil's advocate EVER.

my father.

i explained it to him ... and he thought it was a decent idea, to get out, study what i wanted in a different area, get out of the monotony, i'm in transition anyways.

i was floored.

but his main thing was 'why New York, you've done that already. try someplace elce'. so i made some calls and it looks like Chicago is my best bet. I don't know where yet, i'd love to live with my pledge brother Andy Ulatowski. i t would be FUCKING AWESOME. i would be out of this area, in a new venue, in transition, liking what i do, having fun.

then i would be back in august i think, possibly live with Dennis again, wich would rule, going to MATC, learing what i love and working in Madison.

all a have to do it organize it, make sure i can transfer to different stores, get living arrangements, whatnot... but hell its January 5th... well 6th now. and i'm already thinking ahead... weird...


but i'm still thinkin about going to NYC in April, go to visit. and i want to take someone who wants to go that REALLY wants to go, i'm lookin at you theatre people. the ones that... every time i mention that i went out there and lived for 2 months, auditioned for RENT, saw Uncle Jessie in Cabaret... the people that would apreciate it the most, thats who i want to take... so far Sara Griffin is the only one with a real inteest. but hell, its only $140 round trip. April 12th to the 16th


you know you want to...


Family: its been a while, i'll go back today for laundry.
Fraternity: i should really get on doing shit for next semester... eventually
Social: i went to go see Crystal the other day, met a girl, she was kinda hot...
Money: poor, but living
Work:lots of thinking to do about where i'm gonna go over this year
Females: glad i dont have to worry about them, its making my life easier
Drama: none that i know of, besides the last post, but that hasn't happened ... yet
School: 1.985 is aperintly good enough... who knew? going undeclaired and trying to take it easy
Friends: i know who you are... i love you guys
Health: i should eat every once and a while...
Song: (Who Discovered) America? - Ozomatli
Last Laugh: The pirate rule in Circle of Death

so i went Kinda AWOL today and yesterday... i honestly dont think anyone noticed... wich saddens me

but i digress. i was in milwaukee painting Bill's new Condo. i bet i put in a solid 15 hours of painting sence monday night. it looks sweet. i'll put the pictures up on the DHE, and i'm proud of it. after i was done and got all oraganised and looking perfect hailey, denise, marty and haileys freind showed up. i was truly nervous. i mean, this was one of the first times i went from an idea phase, planning out , looking at the project, consulting with the homeonwner, doing the labor, making the place look marvelous and having people who knew what it looked like before look at it again.

it was like those shows where they put like 5 grand into a new living room or somthing without telling you. haileys look was just what i needed. i know what i want to do.

i paint, and i design. I'm good at it. I like doing it. It pays well. I'm happy.



while i was writing this i was talking to Matt Volden, and he wanted me to look up if i was actually dismissed or not, cause i never got 'the letter'.

looks like they didn't kick me out after all...

but i'm going undeclaired, taking some art classes... the basics... just to get more into design. then next fall i'm going to go to MATC. i'm dead set on it. only thing that would stop me would be finances.

fucking money, always keeping me from doing what i want



...so its been 4(ish) post sence i mentioned kari. i actually had 2 days in a row where nothing reminded me of her, it was odd, but welcome. also a good thing. cause i gotta vent about somthing that happened today.

and unless otherwise stated, i know the all caps anonymous is you AL, just put a name on it for petes sake, and this is what happened and how i felt. live with it.

anyways... so i made Kari a Christmas present, a mix CD that had all the songs that were the good time songs, song that reminded me of how things were. i specificaly stated in the letter attached that this was NOT an attempt to get back together, becuae it wasn't. i also got her a skarf.

now i really don't like looking a gift horse in the mouth, but i'd like to think that we did have those good times and that she did know me well enough to get somthing personal, i wouldn't care how much it costed or where it came from, just to know she put some thought into it, really i didn't expect anything at all because of how things had gone the last few months.

so her reply to me getting her somthing was to give me a watch that she gets from work. i thought sweet! those are good looking watches. but every time she brought them up, she kept saying that "i have tons of them laying arround", at the time, i didn't care, a free watch thats supposed to be expensive... sweet deal.

so today when i was at bills painting she stopped by, almost reluctantly, trying to get out of there as soon as possible. she complimented my work and the colors, we shot the shit for a bit, then she handed me the watch and put it on. Bill was looking at it and said somthing like "nice watch" wich she replied 'i have a ton, do you want one?'

now how do you think i feel at this point? someone i had a grand conection too, i have to resort to making sure i wash my hands good and hard so i can keep small talk up to see how shes been before i get the goodbye hug?

one of my newer friends got a tad bit of a vent on this today, and she asked me a good question; somthing allong the lines of "was it hard getting over her?"

my instant and honest relpy; 'it gets easier every day'


now she might have had somewhere to go, thats fine, she might not have thought that was ... i dont want to say disrespectfull, i dont want to say hurtfull, i dont really know the word... lets just say wrong. she might have assumed the oposite, i picked out a few i liked, she picked from that list.

its all in the presentation. its not what you say, its how you say it.




yes, this has been a rant. you decided you wanted to come here, read a bit of my insanity. its your fault that you wanted to see what my version of truth is.

now go away.

so its been quite a while, i missed you all.

all week long its been 11-7 and friday i was there 9-7. now i didn't sleep the whole time, just a bit more than most people would at there jobs. i kep myslef busy and tried enought that i havent really had any 'me' time. no, that doesn't mean i didn't have time to jerk it, i did that enough, cause thats the only action i got, i might aswell get it as often as i can, heh. so thats why i haven't been posting like mad, either here or at the DHE.

the biggest thing i have to update on is my fasion, yes, i'm paying attention to how i look when i'm not at work. besides today, i was struttin around town in my bath robe. it was sweet.

i went out and bought about $150 worth of clothing, thats allot for me. plus some of it was name brand, wich is totaly out of charicter for me. but i figure its about time for a charicter improvement.

New years. what an interesting night. i broke out 'the outfit' that Lindsay and Tommy picked out for me. i got compliments on my clothing and a few ladies were hitting on me. needles to say, i enjoyed it. she ended up with annother dude... on my couch... heh, then they went out to have sex in the hallway. the laugh i got out of it for a few reasons.

1. they were making out HARD-CORE whilst we were singing (especially funny when we went on a knee for serinade, they got an ovation.)
2. my first verse of VIVA making fun of them because neithere one had a place to go to that night, they both got brought there by others. hehe.
3. they were keeping up the other... oh... 4 people passing out in my room
4. they took the 'siffy-cooter scratching post& sewage sponge' aka my red boddy pillow, yes kivi, the one you spoon with when you pass out in my room.

hehe... what a night. took in a good amount of jameson and 7, but one nice heardy "i'm trying to help you out, maybe you'll get a massage" nut shot from bill, while we were circled up, really sobered me up quick. i've never been closer to just putting my all into punching someone in the face before, but i stopped. cause not only would that be reallly bad to do to a brother, but even more so when we were circled up and singing.

so what elce?

i still havent looked into MATC, i should really get on that. tomarrow morning, i swear. this year i want to find out and do a few things. these aren't really resolutions, but more of goals. in no particular order or focus.

• do somthing none of my firends have, like somthing they wouldn't want to do, but respect me for doing.
• ask out a complete stranger, and suceed.
• get a decent physical and find out why i have; tiwches, really bad farts, and get my joints looked at.
• go out west
• visit more people
• save money

i think i could do m0ost of that in a year. its phesable. i especially like the 'askingout a complete stranger' one, because i need to have someone out of the whitewater circle to talk to, everyone here knows my stories already. and going to MATC will really help. maybe i'll find someone there. maybe i wont. YARGH.

i don't know where the random pirte speek came from, i guess thats a sign that i should stop typing and go to bed.

now for somthing i havent done in quite some time...

Family: they have my blog now! both of them! notthat i'm going to cencor myself, just maybe say hi more.
Fraternity: thinking about who's going to replace me, and how i'm gonna get more sons this semester
Social: i need to go to the bars more, but that costs money
Money: still poor, like 25 in the hole poor, hopefully bill pays me tuesday
Work: i'm gonna like this next paycheck, if i don't get fired for doing bill's house
Females: not really caring right now. for now i have to worry about #1
Drama: a bit of house drama, but no.
School: 1.985 is not a 2.0 so there goes UWW...
Friends: i'm gonna randomly stop in to more people more this year. so watch out.
Health: bowels are acting weird, maybe if i ate right it would help
Song: Express Yourself - Charles Wright & The Watts 103rd Street Rhythm Band
Last Laugh: the never ending game of WAR at pizza hut