so as i sit here, bored off my ass cause theres nothing to do in this town (ok, that was a little bitching, fuckoff, its my space) i was talking to a good frind from highschool. and while i was tlaking to britney the converation turned to a 'love' conversation.

for most of you, this is where you go "damn it he's gonna go off on his sex philosophies again", but i say no. usually my filter (from what you think and what you say), is non-existant. and for the most part this helps me clarify issues and think freely. this time it did somthing weird.

this time it let me see how i think.

i know, its weird not knowing what your thinking, but i live with it constantly.

but in this conversation i said that...



theres no use for love at this point in my life



i know, i feel horible about it, but the sad fact is that its been causing me more pain and anguish than anything. i dont want to be attached to anything or anyone. this point in my life i want to explore every option and facit of my measly existance.

my search for love, or somthing closely resembeling it has made me a sad, lonely depressed little man.

now i'm not saying 'fuck love, i'm becoming a monk', i'm saying i'm not going to activly go out searching for it, or trying to find even a shred of it.

i will still be kind and curtious to the female folk, i will not be turning gay, and i will not become celibite, and most of all, i will continue being the 'Love Dude'

i enjoy helping people with there issues. because like i said before, i dont have that filter, if i think your crazy for thinking that, i'll tell you ytou are... most people only need for someone to tell them what there not willing to hear to get the point across.

i know this is getting me out of my funk. i'm no where near my funk anymore, because as far as i'm concerned, 80% of lifes troubles are on the back burner for now

Song: started with Aqueous Transmission by Incubus, but i had to take a monster shit, so a few songs have past, now i'm on Jack Blacks version of Let's get it on... how apropriate

Pockets: my phone... be lucky i have pockets, i havent showered and only have been outside to go to McDonalds and back...

Reasons my roomates are the best: fish is more like me than anyone, but we always seem to be in oposite moods so we can help eachother out of the bad to enjoy the good...plus he gets paid soon - Tommy has pissed me off enought to distract me from the other things that would worry anyone who isn't living with a Cerqua, plus he pays for hooters every now and again....

so i guessits cause my roomates can loan me money and give me food....ah well, such is life