"the best will come to those who act on the highest plain of moral conduct and brotherly spirit. those who act as a moral and upright man will live an existance as one"
norvall church
i put this in here to remind myself that i will never apease everyone. people will have there reasons for hating me and never wanting to aknowlage my ideals, position, or my existance.
if you don't know, don't ask.
it just hurts me on a plane that only a brother can realize, and the fact that it was said by a brother after putting the vote of no confidence and
you, as a sinfonian, dont exist to me, and i will not be around to see it.
I don't belive that a brother could attack another brother on that level. yes, if you know whats been going on, things werent exactly done the way things idealy should go, but completly disavowing any existance of the ideas that we hold so dear that were instiled into me by brothers that he served with.
I will never say he's taking the low road, or that hes just being jelous, just because I would rather have my best friend go out with a borther with the same ideals that I have, than some random dude that you dont know anything about. I did it, Erin is dating Paul now... granted the time frame is completly different, but I know shes safe with him.
I'm not a man that would go out of my way to hurt anyone, ever. I'm the guy people come to too to solve problems without malace, i'm the shrink, i'm the one who avoids drama. I am hurt deeply that a brother would take this road.
...and the only people that can truly comfort me, and care for me enough to worry about how my attitude has changed are the same people that you say i am nothing like. the same brothers you would gladly aknowlage over me are the same people i go to for solice and help.
Once a SINFONIAN,
always a SINFONIAN,
LONG LIVE SINFONIA!
and not one person can take that from me.
so heres a quote for you.
"...Let not the fire of your tounge burn the flesh of your brother, but may you be animated by pure and lofty motives and your speech be inspired to the understanding of all brothers; and for the glory of SINFONIA..."
...go through hell to get to heaven...
I just hope the hell i'm going through wont interfere with the heaven I feel when shes arround.
oas,aas,lls... its more evident now than ever...
I HAVE NO PROBLEM SAYING THESE THINGS BECAUSE I ASKED YOU AS A BROTHER TO NOT DO THINGS IN A CERTAIN MANNER AND YOU NOT ONLY LIED TO ME, BUT YOU WENT AROUND MY REQUEST, MADE ME FEEL APEASED, AND MADE ME FEEL LIKE A FOOL. I AM NOT JEALOUS. I AM ABSOLUTLY DISAVOWING YOU BECAUSE I BELIVE YOU ACTED IN A SUCH A WAY THAT NEGATES MY RELATIONSHIP TO YOU.
SO BE IT. YOU CAN FEEL HOW YOU WANT ABOUT IT, AND THATS FINE.
YOU HAVE TARNISHED NOT ONLY MY PERSONAL OPINNION OF YOU, BUT MY FRATERNAL OPINNION AS WELL.
IM SURE IM JUST THE OLD FUDDY DUDDY THAT IS WRTONG WRONG WRONG, BUT ONCE UPON A TIME WE HAD IDEALS AND A WAY OF TREATING EACHOTHER WITH THREE IDEALS. IN MY HEART I FEEL LIKE THOSE THREE THINGS WERE DESTROYED BY YOUR ACTIONS.
WE LIVE THE LIFE WE MAKE. WE SLEEP IN THE BED WE MAKE.
DONT COME AT ME WITH UOTES WHEN I WARNED YOU FROM DAY ONE WHAT YOUR ACTIONS WOULD GARNER. YOU HAVE NO REASON FOR SHOCK OR ANGER. UNLIKE YOU, I WAS 100 PERCENT FORTHCOMING ABOUT MY ACTIONS.
SORRY THAT THIS MAY COMPLICATE YOUR LIFE. BUT WE ALL MAKE CHOICES AND HAVE TO WEIGH THE GOOD AND THE BAD REPRECUSSIONS.
CLEARLY I WAS WORTH THE SACRIFICE.
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