I just got back from taking kari home. Its almost 4am. I had a wonderfull time with her and realised after I had let my hormones get the best of me...

We ended up taking a nap together, and when I woke up, I was sure I was still dreaming, because I had never felt that relaxed or at peace [...because i took a nap, and the fact that she was there, thats it...] . I was as happy as I could be. But then I realised I woke myself up, I broke the dream up.

For a split second I was disapointed things hadn't gone to the next level tonight, but then I remembered how I felt, just being in her arms, seing her smile at me when I pull up to mcdonalds, how her hugs can wash away my stress, how good i feel doing things for her...

I was mad at myself. disapointed that I would let my sex drive try and take over and potentialy ruin the best thing that has happened to me in years and years.

It was a moment of weakness that I had been setting myself up for all week (NOT MASTURBATING... i'm such a tool... ). Its not all about sex. Sex just messes things up. If I can be satisfied and the happiest I've been, just knowing shes out there thinking of me. Why do I need a physical act?

Damn these animal instincts.





I know no one cares to hear about this, but I thought I had somthing to say, so I wanted to say it... so there...