people our age in large groups are morons.


that being said, i shouldn't have to explain, because any mass of people loose all individuality and will never grasp any opinion other than the one best advertised on TV.

thats right, GEICO might have allot of comercials, and hell, Phi Mu Alpha even gets a discount, but i have a small agency that doesnt spend money on advertizing to the 'tool-nation'

*sigh*

so i went out tonight, i know i said i was gonna take some time off drinking and i ended up doing that. I hate the bars. No, I detest the bars. I would rather spend a night in and talk and have a nice conversation with a group of friends over a few drinks. Thats why I love our porch, We still get the morons that are drunk as hell, and occasionally we get to watch a feild sobriety test. You never have to worry about the stupid hoes that think they need to stand right in the fucking middle of traffic so they can have every guy going past cop a feel.

those guys are the low end guys, just drunk as hell and not caring. They end up geting in a fight, or calling an Ex-Girlfriend at the end of the night and passing out in a pool of their own vomit.

The middle of the row guys are Going out to have agood time, but still want to 'Mack'. these guys will pause and have small talk with the girl. In this town it useually starts with classes, its such a small town, eveyone knows somthing about someone, even if they made it up. This guy will distract said Hoe until the next group can get by.

This group, wich i was proudly part of tonight, seeing as i hit up ...oh... 4 - 5 bars without having a drink, just want to move and not be wedged up against the fat guy and the wall.

Tonight i could care less how much you thought you were atractive or that you should be the center of attention, christ, get a life and get out of my fucking way.


grrr.... i just want to get out of the monotony. I want to be 27, Solid and have a good group of friends. be secure finacially aswel as mentaly. not 22, strugling to find affection and not even knowing if i need it. I have to prioritise. my needs (family, friends, fraternity, job, money, security) are far more important than my wants (the touch of someone who cares, someone other than my fraternity brothers to call and just chat with, life to be easy, to have balls enough to ask this girl out) right now.

I'm so many things to so many people. I'm a scapegoat, I'm a leader, I'm the Go-To guy, I'm Dr. Ruth, I'm the crazy guy, I'm The ROCK, I'm the shoulder to cry on, I'm the first person to call, I'm the last to lie.

I'm allot of things, but what i'm not is allone. even though i get these times that i feel like i'm the only one. Not in a cocky way, but that yet again, I'm the bit part in someone else's play.



i have to realise i cant be whole. I can't be perfect. No one can. Its a rather large conflict actually... if we're all aspiring to be whole, to be perfect, yet we can only be perfect in our eyes. and no matter what we can always find flaws within our own self or at least with our actions.

So if we are all striving for a perfection that cannot be acheived, what are we doing here?


oh god no.


i'm discussing the meaning of life on my blog. its time to stop. its times like these i wish the new 'high-boys' were here to debate this with me. Adam North, John Beardsley, And John Buaver (SP?) are the smartest pot heads i've ever had the pleasure of holding a conversation with and they might enjoy this one.

Seeing as they are not here, and all of you have stopped reading by now, and have gone on to checking eveyone else who never updates their blog. i will end this nights streaming conciousness.

Don't pee on the seat, unless you don't like the lady after you in line










and don't forget, keep your stick on the ice... ;-)