Non-Descriminatory Bitch Session

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

My obsession with being a BADASS

So lately I've wanted to become more and more of a badass. Now, before you go saying why. Let me define what I mean by BADASS...

I mean that guy.
The guy that can get away with anything.
The guy that always has the quip at the apropriate time.
The guy that doesnt do anything normal and still can function.
The guy that no one can think of doing menial tasks.
The guy that doesnt work for anyone.
The guy that people miss when he leaves.
The guy that brings a fresh look on a situation that no one thought of.
The guy that has the answers.
The guy people want to know whats going on with.
The guy thats interesting.
The ideal that you live your own life, Fuck the rules.
The ideal that you live your life to the fullest.
The ideal that you have no regrets and dont look back at your failures, or your downfalls, you just do what you have to do to get by.

I want to be that guy and to have those ideals. I'm close. Closer than most of you close minded drones. I hope that I can take what I have and continue, to be that BADASS. To be that one person that can make a difference.

Until then, I am just another Number. #1550915, #6, #9785233... thats me... I pick my nose and I fart and belch. I love without repricussion, I lust without responce. I am Human.

So now for why. Why? Why not. I have been troden on, mentaly brow-beat, shat on by life, sat in the back seat to everyone elses ride of their life, been the janitor picking up the confetti behind the parrade (al'la Rocky & Bulwinkle). Never getting ahead, but always just a tad bit behind.

This move, Madison, is a first for me. A first not living with a bunch of people I know. Not having my space invaded...like it is right now by 3 people not even involving me in there conversation... using my space as thiers. I will have my own bathroom for the first time IN MY LIFE. I will have my own living room instead of living in the room that everyone else ueses. That floored me when I thought of that today. I'm paying my way, in my own place, with my own job and my own life. Why not be what I want to? Why not be the badass? Why not live life the way I want to and stop being the one that has to please everyone.

So I can stop being the one that complains that people dont update their blogs, when I should just fucking talk to them. So I can stop being the one that cant ask a girl out even though I know what the result would be even if the timing was right. So I can be the one at the bar that intreauges the one thats not there to hook up. The guy that is comfortable and still wanting more. The guy... The dude... Me.

I leave you with some quotes from FIGHT CLUB, the epitomy of what i'm talking about...

All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not...

I feel like putting a bullet between the eyes of every Panda that wouldn't screw to save its species. I want to open the dump valves on oil tankers and smother all the French beaches I'd never see. I want to breathe smoke...

I feel like destroying somthing beautiful...

WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! Ok, you are now firing a gun at your 'imaginary friend' near 400 GALLONS OF NITROGLYCERINE!

Thanks for your time. You now know why i'm distant. Why i'm not me. Why i'm gonna be the real me from now on.

Written at 9:06 PM by Peanuts.

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