so i've been wanting to post for a while (p.s. i'm kinda drunk, so forgive the dragging of fingers across the keyboard), but i wanted things to pan out before i jumped to conclusions.

kari and i are talking. Its my fault that we werent, but i was the stubourn one, we both are... damn aries'. but i digress, we talked for a good 2 hours tuesday night and i felt at ease, shes doing great and i'm ok with everything. i had to take those 2ish months off, but shes too good a person and were too similar to not be friends again (plus being in the same feild, i cant really burn bridges if you know what i mean ;-P ), really it was a good thing, i know some will be mad but i dont care. i've moved on in my own world, i'm not dwelling, its ok now.

on to what i've been moving on to. i dont know if she reads this but i know her friend does, and i dont care. its my area, i do what i want. i've been going out with this spectacular duo of ladies who accept me as the guy that can dance and hang out with them, I call that "the gay friend"... no i'm not gay, i'm strait as all get out, but its the dynamic with this group. So you all that know me, know that i'm a do what i want, say what i want, tell it how it is and not care too much guy...

except when it comes to telling girls i like them. i choke. i cant say anything right and i never think i get my point across. so on saturday i did. i mustered up the cahones' and asked her... to get the "gay friend" responce... so being a persistant bastard i blatently asked her out the next day to get a responce of 'Good greif, LOL, your funny'...

now i'm not really complaining, i get what i deserve, shes after another guy and i should just realize my lot in life is to be the guy in the background, but man... its getting pretty lame.

to clarify, i dont have any ill feelings, were still freinds, i'm the one overlooked, but still the one that gets to hang out with the sexy girls on the dancefloor

(wich, BTW, i was told i was a decent dancer... WHO KNEW!?!?!)

but i'm also overlooked completely. I should be used to it by now, I've always been there for everyone else and never asked anything for it, cause thats what friends do.

but when will i get mine?

Dennis got the brunt of this vent, it was saturday night, i was in a state i NEVER get into and maybe one or two people have seen me in. i dont do that often, but i had to, it was a long time coming...


Madison beter be good to me, but i dont know what to change when i go there... i know i have to be more assertive at my job, i am basicly going to be an assistant, but without the money or the title. but i'll be in a whole new atmosphere, meeting new people, who dont know PEANUTS. people that can see me for what i am, not the party favor that i am now.

some times, its fucking great to be me. but times like this, not so much... i have a bi-polar existance.

so as of this point, i'm sitting here, waiting for my buzz to wear off cause i'm not too tired... i caught myself napping at work today, how do you ask? cause i woke myself up i was snorring so loud! I LOVE MY JOB!!!


wow, i've been gabbing for quite some time. i'm sorry for bitching, but you know what? you read the whole thing... and you know you'll keep reading.... I LOVE YOU ALL!!!