my life is about to change. i hope. I find out about my promotion to Assistant Manager of the Madison East Sherwin Williams tomarrow at 2pm. and all i can think about is how this is a rather large turning point in my life. Yea, i've had full time positions of good stature before (Kitchen Designer for Home Depot) but this, this is somthing i can truly say i can be proud of and that i've done what needs to get done to get here.

I've proved myself in so many ways that the only things that Paul (District Manager) has told me thats a concern is that i have an "excess of customer service". This means i talk too much and i help customers too well. Kind of a bullshit answer to give for not getting a job, but it does make sence.

Also the fact that i'm 23. yes Blink 182, i know no one likes me till april 6th at 3:17 in 2007, but the fact is i'm young. And i'll have 3 people under me that are the same age or younger as me, and a few that are older. Frankly i dont know how to deal with that. i have so many ideas, but i dont know that store that well to make myself over assertive or what now.

The store is a training store, so i know i'll be able to get the training i need, and i know that my frienship with Jason (my old Assistant Manager from Beloit) and everyone that i've come into contact with will help me allong with the logistics of the job.


But its gonna come to the fact that i'm going to be in charge to an extent. that i'm going to be the man that should know the answers. Responsibilites. Power. influence.

i'm on the verge of having the first actual taste of these things without having the "I just work here" excuse, or "i'll ask my manager" or "i dont know whats going on, i'll just do my thing and keep my nose down"

not any more. I have 'Day-mares' (you can have day-dreams, so why not day-mares) that i'm going to choke. that i'll get overwhelmed and fire off in the clutch.




That i'll lose my natural ability to preform when it absolutly needs to get done.




......




the only thing i have going for me.



a good friend and i had a chat about that ablity lately, the conversation was about how i can be counted on, and that when i pull through in the clutch, it comes outmore spectacular than he could ever imagine.

but i wasnt there for the rest of the game. 1st 3 quarters i'm a slacker and a lazy son-of-a-bitch. my words, not his. this made me think on how much i've relied on this power i have.

Everyone has there power, their specialty, mine is pulling through and taking chargge when it NEEDS to be done, when it CAN'T be done.

but now, if i get this job. i have to be the 'go to' guy constantly. the on call guy. the one that should fix it before calling the last ditch manager.




stress......



already. stress.



i'll get the job, if not, they have larger plans for me. but man, i need somthing to happen soon. this move to madison was great, but i've been working raged lately and not having time to do anything. all my friends are useually busy all the time, and i havent really met any new people.

i'm in the working world. not making money, not making friends, not having fun.

this is the only thing i can think of that would fit to break that monotony. that would keep me sane. so i wouldnt HAVE to work 13 hour days. so i wouldn't HAVE to work just to make ends meet. so that i can have some sort of a life. so that i can maybe make a trip to theresa, or summerfest that doesnt involve finishing a job.


wow, its like i havent vented in a while.

well, i should have another onestill coming after i hear from Paul on wednesday.... in now, 11 hours and 3 minutes...

god damn it, why couldnt he have told me last week... then i could have celebrated...


i better get to sleep, i have to be up at 6am. I want to be, i feel inspired to finally do what i've been wanting to do for quite some time.

If I get the job at East, i'll have to travel across town on the busy belt-line, so i'll have to leave early ("your early, your on-time. your on time, your late" - Ed Hale)

This also means i'd have to be awake and diligent at any hour of the day, open or close. so no rolling out of bed and going to work. Jason got away with it, but he was so damn good no one was going to say anything. I cant do that. i have to be early every day, awake, and ready to go. I have to show a dedication to the guys that i'm working with that they lack. I need to know my shit so i can get a good repor with the customers. I need to be more sucint with people and not 'over sell'



I need to sleep...


and take my own advice...




1.) Large glass of icewater, bigest you can find.

2.) Long poop whist NOT thinking about what is stressing you out.

3.) Sleep


untill tomarrow...